Sin and Sunshine Making Vegas go to Rehab

by Cynthia De La Torre–

Apparently sin and sunshine doesn’t guarantee you happiness. Our Las Vegas family is quite dysfunctional according to The Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index. It ranks 162 cities on the happiness of its residents-Las Vegas finished 145th on the list.

So, shall our city go straight to rehab? Dr. Drew? Where were you on this one?

This poll doesn’t make any sense, we have the worlds happiest Mayor, Oscar Goodman! Goodman is so happy his nose is shiny red and bulbous.

OK, the first step to rehab is admitting to the problem: Nevada residents have been hit hard with the foreclosure crisis, unemployment rate is at 13.1 percent- higher than the entire nation (9.7 percent thus far).

Our service industry is suffering tremendously because we never saved for a rainy day- no, we didn’t save for our college education.

However, you can say many residents helped fund some college tuition one lap dance at-a-time. Bygones…

Nevertheless, we are still not happy.

But, don’t blame us, blame our parents. Our Governor is out having affairs and then he up and gets a divorce.

Papa Obama constantly refers to us as the red-head step-child (no, not literally) and never gives us any words of encouragement- which is very necessary for a family to thrive.

Recovery is far ahead, but I doubt we are unhappy. No, no, no… I just popped my 20 mg of Lexapro and outlook is… very optimistic.

According to the list, the unhappiest city is Huntington, West Virginia. The happiest is Boulder, Colorado.